Exhausted

I feel like I am being punished...

But I am going to use all of the unfortunate events and attempt to make sense of them, in hopes that I can have discernment to make healthy decisions. I know at times my passion can make me a very difficult person to communicate with, but I'm not perfect and I struggle with things just like most people do.

Many of my issues stem from the fact that I have so many regrets in regards to decisions that I have made in the past, and it is affecting me in the present. I look at my baby girl and she is getting so big and she is so brilliant, and she is truly my greatest accomplishment. She is doing well in school and eventhough I can't give her all the things that she wants, she has everything she needs. I feel sad to think that her not having a consistent father figure in her life will have a negative impact on her future. I do everything in my power to ensure that she doesn't feel the void, but at the end of the day, I am not a man. I feel guilty that she is missing out on that. I have not been the best role model for her because my actions show her that my way of handling things is not working.

Jordy J I love you so much and I promise that we will rule the world, just be patient with mommy.