People are never who they appear to be. I am almost to the point where I question everyone's character, because I don't feel like anyone is true anymore. I think being pregnant gives you a sixth sense, a sense to not deal with any kind of foolishness.
I am Day 4 into my celibacy journey and so far so good. I feel kind of ass backwards though seeing as how I'm pregnant but whatever. I think it will be easier because I usually don't have the urge to have sex while I'm pregnant.
I'm having all kind of mixed emotions right now, I haven't told my mother or really anyone for that matter and I am still going back and forth about my decision to have this baby. Part of me feels like really??? When I wanted my baby more than anything I lost it and it devastated me. Now I'm pregnant again and I'm like maybe things won't be so bad this time. But another part of me is like Erica, don't be selfish, raising two kids without support from either one of the fathers is not the smartest decision. It's hard enough providing for Jordy I couldn't imagine adding another child to the equation. But then again I never imagined I would be sitting in an abortion clinic at damn near 30 years old. At some point you have to suck it up and be accountable for your actions.
I wish that I was pregnant by someone else, ya know? Someone that would call and check to see how I am feeling. Someone that would bring me a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and a bag of Jalepeno Krunchers...lol (but serious though). Someone that is supportive regardless of the situation.
No comments:
Post a Comment