Flame

Someone from my past recently visited my job and found out that I worked there. We engaged in small conversation, and ended up walking right into my ex. Can we say awkward?? Eventhough our situation was "complicated" and maybe a little inappropiate, and things ended horribly....it was refreshing to see him. Since then we have conversed, and we talked about where we went wrong in 2009. He blamed me for cutting him off abruptly, but honestly due to the nature of the situation, it was the only way.

Fast forward to 2012 and I am having all of these mixed emotions about him. His feelings have not changed about me and I don't know if he wants us to pick back up where we left off, but if you knew where we left off...you would know that is impossible. I want to know and understand his intentions, but at the same time its like...why am I even considering this? We got into an argument tonight which resulted in me crying and getting off of the phone. I guess I'm just frustrated by the fact that every man that pursues me, belongs to someone else. I feel like I have been through so much, that I have no tolerance for anything anymore. But damn can you respect me enough to not pursue me while you are married? Just because you have no regard for your wife, doesn't mean that I don't.

Then I really got in my feelings really hard because it's like wow, am I that chick that men want to have on the side, but not good enough for marriage? I spent 4 years with someone that never even considered me to be a candidate for marriage. Ouch!!!!

The temptation is there, he knows how to woo me, and say and do all of the right things. He makes me feel wanted, appreciated, and beautiful, but I am so guarded, and with him I absolutely should be. So I am about to lace up my Airmax and run like hell, because this guy is nothing but trouble.